I am writing this entry at the risk of my friend Jennifer telling me I sound like an old lady - again- but I just can't resist.
I enjoy a wide variety of music, from oldies to pop to rock to some hip-hop and rap. I have been known to bust out some old school rap for my students from time to time, given the right inspiration. In my repetoire: "Nothing but a G Thang" Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg; "Baby Got Back" Sir Mix-A-Lot; "Whoomp, There It Is" Tag Team, some classic Jay-Z. Today, I must say that the genre of music my students listen to has gone over the edge! It's just too darn much!
I have a student in class, D. I have him two periods in a row, for two different classes, journalism and creative writing. So today, D, who knows about my wide variety of musical tastes through my creative writing Song of the Week, asks if I want to listen to this song on his mp3. I say sure, and he holds his headphone up to my ear. Here are the lyrics to the chorus:
She be dancin' with no panties on,
She bow-legged,
She bow-legged.
Me: Who sings this song?
D: Haitian Fresh and Pleasure P (I can only guess what the P stands for)
I am confused. Is this supposed to be an attractive image? 'Cause it's not! Generally, adults who are bow-legged don't fall into the super-model category nor are they very rhythmic or graceful. That being the case, why would anyone want to see her dancing sans underwear?!!
Okay, so "Baby Got Back" is all about Sir Mix-A-Lot's admiration of bodacious booties, but the song has a sense of humor. This "No Panties" song (yes, that is the actual title - I looked it up) is an R & B song. The kind that uses the newly popular synthesized vocals, so synthesized that it is, in fact, hard to tell what is being sung. But it is serious! I didn't listen to the whole thing (and maybe I should have first before I began my rant) but it definitely wasn't a black Al Yankovic spoof.
There are a lot of new songs out there that I DO like, so I don't think I'm "old" because I think this song is ridiculous. This song just IS ridiculous!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
On Your Mark . . Get Set . . . Lactate!
This is a story I couldn't resist. One of my colleagues, C, told me this one in the English office this week. It was too good not to share, and I am posting it with her blessing.
C teaches a Speech class in the evenings for a group of students who are taking it as an independent study since they didn't have room in their schedules. During class C was telling her students about a time in the past when some women from La Leche League came to speak in one of her classes (I think it had something to do with living different lifestyles). She asked the students if they knew what La Leche League was. They had no idea.
C: Okay. Some of you speak Spanish. What does it sound like it might be?
Student 1: Well, leche means milk.
C: Right. So La Leche League is a group of women that breast feed.
Student 2: So, you mean, like, it's a competition?
Speech text: $50. . . Extra pay for teaching a class at night, $0. . . Hysterical student comments- PRICELESS!
C teaches a Speech class in the evenings for a group of students who are taking it as an independent study since they didn't have room in their schedules. During class C was telling her students about a time in the past when some women from La Leche League came to speak in one of her classes (I think it had something to do with living different lifestyles). She asked the students if they knew what La Leche League was. They had no idea.
C: Okay. Some of you speak Spanish. What does it sound like it might be?
Student 1: Well, leche means milk.
C: Right. So La Leche League is a group of women that breast feed.
Student 2: So, you mean, like, it's a competition?
Speech text: $50. . . Extra pay for teaching a class at night, $0. . . Hysterical student comments- PRICELESS!
Johann Sebastian Batch
Here's another story from my 10th hour Writer's Workshop class. It shows how out of touch our young people are today when it comes to cultural trivia.
So we're reading a poem, "Theme for English B" by Langston Hughes. The students read it once on their own. Then I ask them if there are any words they didn't know and we clarify. In terms of the language, this is pretty straightforward poem but I ask all the same.
Me: Are there any words you're not familiar with?
T: Yeah, what's batch?
Me: Batch?
T: Yeah.
Me: (Thinking "I don't remember reading that word in this poem and shouldn't a senior know
what batch means?") Where is that word? What line?
T: (He reads the line) Bessie, bop, Batch (In the poem, Hughes was referring to the types of records he likes to
receive as Christmas gifts).
Me: Oh, that's Bach. It's pronounced Baa -k. He's a composer. You've all
heard of Bach haven't you? (Blank stares) You know, like Mozart or Beethoven?
Class: Oh.
I left it at that. Hopefully they know what a composer is, or they'll think Bach was St. Bernard like the one in the Beethoven movie.
So we're reading a poem, "Theme for English B" by Langston Hughes. The students read it once on their own. Then I ask them if there are any words they didn't know and we clarify. In terms of the language, this is pretty straightforward poem but I ask all the same.
Me: Are there any words you're not familiar with?
T: Yeah, what's batch?
Me: Batch?
T: Yeah.
Me: (Thinking "I don't remember reading that word in this poem and shouldn't a senior know
what batch means?") Where is that word? What line?
T: (He reads the line) Bessie, bop, Batch (In the poem, Hughes was referring to the types of records he likes to
receive as Christmas gifts).
Me: Oh, that's Bach. It's pronounced Baa -k. He's a composer. You've all
heard of Bach haven't you? (Blank stares) You know, like Mozart or Beethoven?
Class: Oh.
I left it at that. Hopefully they know what a composer is, or they'll think Bach was St. Bernard like the one in the Beethoven movie.
A Lusty Lesson
This term I am teaching one section of Writer's Workshop at the end of the day. It's really a lot of fun and despite the one kid who sleeps every day, I have some really great kids in there. We listen to a "Song of the Week" every Friday and I am trying to make sure each song is a representation of a literary element, so we learn through entertainment (and writing). So far we heard "Hungry like the Wolf" (simile), "Hotel California" (imagery) and today, we heard two songs for irony, "Ironic" by Alanis Morrisette, which I think does not really explain irony at all, ironically, and "Escape (The Pina Colada Song)" to show what irony really means.
Right now we are working on a poetry unit. The kids wrote "Personal Poetry", to start with, poems that require students to write about themselves within a given format. Those were all excellent. Next, we started reading some classic British and American poetry, beginning with "To his Coy Mistress." For those who haven't read this poem, it is about a young man, frustrated with his girlfriend not putting out, so he explains that "if we had both world enough and time" he could wait forever. Then he goes on to say that death is approaching and there's no lovin' when you're dead. The last stanza is all about the advantages of gettin' busy while you're still young.
Of course, this was written in the 1600's so the language is quite verbose. I have the students read it once on their own, then ask me about any words they didn't know. Then we it again together. After the second reading, they still didn't get it. Once I explained it a little, they really got into it. As I read line by line, I'd ask them, "How would you say this now?" Their suggestions were hysterical and one student said, "We should re-write the whole thing." I thought that was an excellent idea, so we did. It was hysterical. Here are some examples of some choice lines:
Original: Thou by the Indian Ganges' sideShouldst rubies find: I by the tideOf Humber would complain.
Ours: You could shop at the mall all day; and I would carry all your bags and complain.
Original: "Two hundred [years] to adore each breast"
Ours: "All the Simpsons re-runs to admire your chi-chis."
Original: For lady you deserve this state, Nor would I love at lower rate
Ours: Girl, you're worth putting on layaway.
Original: Now let us sport us while we may, And now, like amorous birds of prey,
Ours: Let's get busy, like two dogs in heat
Original: Thus, though we cannot make our sun Stand still, yet we will make him run.
Ours: So let's rock it till the wheels fall off.
You get the picture. It was a lot of fun, we had a lot of laughs and proved that lust is an important theme that withstands the test of time.
Right now we are working on a poetry unit. The kids wrote "Personal Poetry", to start with, poems that require students to write about themselves within a given format. Those were all excellent. Next, we started reading some classic British and American poetry, beginning with "To his Coy Mistress." For those who haven't read this poem, it is about a young man, frustrated with his girlfriend not putting out, so he explains that "if we had both world enough and time" he could wait forever. Then he goes on to say that death is approaching and there's no lovin' when you're dead. The last stanza is all about the advantages of gettin' busy while you're still young.
Of course, this was written in the 1600's so the language is quite verbose. I have the students read it once on their own, then ask me about any words they didn't know. Then we it again together. After the second reading, they still didn't get it. Once I explained it a little, they really got into it. As I read line by line, I'd ask them, "How would you say this now?" Their suggestions were hysterical and one student said, "We should re-write the whole thing." I thought that was an excellent idea, so we did. It was hysterical. Here are some examples of some choice lines:
Original: Thou by the Indian Ganges' sideShouldst rubies find: I by the tideOf Humber would complain.
Ours: You could shop at the mall all day; and I would carry all your bags and complain.
Original: "Two hundred [years] to adore each breast"
Ours: "All the Simpsons re-runs to admire your chi-chis."
Original: For lady you deserve this state, Nor would I love at lower rate
Ours: Girl, you're worth putting on layaway.
Original: Now let us sport us while we may, And now, like amorous birds of prey,
Ours: Let's get busy, like two dogs in heat
Original: Thus, though we cannot make our sun Stand still, yet we will make him run.
Ours: So let's rock it till the wheels fall off.
You get the picture. It was a lot of fun, we had a lot of laughs and proved that lust is an important theme that withstands the test of time.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
The Language of Childhood
Though my boys make me crazy with their wild and obnoxious behavior at times, they can be very sweet and do some cute things, too. One thing I absolutely love is the cute language they use while they are little. Here are some of my favorites.
When Mario was younger, breakfast was pronounced "bref-sticks." This was one of the few words he could not pronounce correctly. He had a pretty large vocabulary at a really young age and his pronunciation was right on. The only other issue he had, and still has, is pronouncing his "th"s as "f"s. Frankie does this, too. As in "I fink it's time for lunch." At 3:30, they'd say, "It's free-firty." Mario's teacher said this is normal, so I'm just waiting for this stage to pass.
Frankie has many cute mispronunciations. Here are some of my favorites:
cupcake = pupcake or puckcake
beat = beep; as in "My heart is beeping really fast."
am not = amn't; he created a brand new contraction all by himself
fast = speed; as in "I ran really speed."
rated = rated of; as in, "Mommy, what is this movie rated of?"
One of my faves, that I always correct, but love to hear him say incorrectly, is when he says, "Gimme _____" and I ask him to ask politely and he says, "Can I may please have________?"
These are just a few of the cute little childhood things I'll miss that I hope to remember when they are grown up so we can have a good laugh together.
When Mario was younger, breakfast was pronounced "bref-sticks." This was one of the few words he could not pronounce correctly. He had a pretty large vocabulary at a really young age and his pronunciation was right on. The only other issue he had, and still has, is pronouncing his "th"s as "f"s. Frankie does this, too. As in "I fink it's time for lunch." At 3:30, they'd say, "It's free-firty." Mario's teacher said this is normal, so I'm just waiting for this stage to pass.
Frankie has many cute mispronunciations. Here are some of my favorites:
cupcake = pupcake or puckcake
beat = beep; as in "My heart is beeping really fast."
am not = amn't; he created a brand new contraction all by himself
fast = speed; as in "I ran really speed."
rated = rated of; as in, "Mommy, what is this movie rated of?"
One of my faves, that I always correct, but love to hear him say incorrectly, is when he says, "Gimme _____" and I ask him to ask politely and he says, "Can I may please have________?"
These are just a few of the cute little childhood things I'll miss that I hope to remember when they are grown up so we can have a good laugh together.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Miscellaneous Cruise pics
When you are on vacation, one day blends into the next and it's difficult to remember when some of these photos were taken. Therefore, they are here, all jumbled together for you to enjoy.
Between dinner and returning to your stateroom your room service crew would leave a different animal towel each night. Here is a towel monkey wearing Anna's sunglasses.
And below is the towel elephant.
Many people have asked me, "How small was your room?" Well, I didn't take any pictures of my room, which was bigger than this one and had a window, but here is the room that my niece and nephews shared. The bed on the right is also a twin. 
The ship's performers were phenomenal. Every night they presented a different show with music and dancing. These photos are from the last night's performance, but the ones at the end of the week were even better. One was selected songs from several popular Broadway musicals and the other was devoted to popular music from the 50's through the 90's.
During dinner there were a few nights were our wait staff would serenade us. Our table was directly below the triangular light at the bottom right corner. Frankie loved watching a violinist play on the landing every night and told me he wants to learn to play the violin.
Me and Frankie at the last night's show - the only one he could stay awake for.
The casino was a good place to spend some time and have a drink brought right to you between dinner and a show. To be honest, I didn't think the night life was all that great.
Filippo, Nonno and
It was Christmastime, so in front of the Schooner Lounge where Anna and I often competed in "Name That Tune" type competitions, there was this huge gingerbread house display. It was really a gingerbread village.
Also, in front of the Schooner Lounge, Frankie and Mario took turns behind the wheel.
Some of the most fun I had was competing in some hysterically funny games. This one was called "The Quest". Me, Mike, Anna, Mary, Giovanni and Louis and Kim from Baltimore were a team and we competed against about 15 other teams. Each team was given a card with our team number and Luke, the activities director (an absolutely adorable British lad, seen in the referee uniform) would request and item and each team had to bring it up as quickly as possible. The first team up got 4 points, the 2nd got 3 points, the 3rd got 2 points and all teams thereafter got just one point. Another referee kept score. Luke would ask for things like a woman's purse, empty of all contents. A man with a hairy back. A woman with a moustache. A form of birth control, etc. A woman with two unworn bras and one must be her own. Funny stuff. We were sitting in the front row and Anna and Mike were insane about jumping out of their seats and getting to Luke first. You should have seen Anna slither out of her bra! The last competition required a man (Louis) to go to the front of the stage dressed in women's shoes (mine), lipstick (Anna's), and a purse (Anna's camera case). Since Anna's bra was already off, we strapped that on to Louis, as well. He's the one that Luke is interviewing in the picture. Luke kept the men on stage and then had them do a runway walk and blow a kiss while being videotaped by the ship's videographer for posterity. The end result was hysterical but in the end our team came in 2nd place by only TWO POINTS! We thought we'd had it and were really quite devasted. Oh well.
On an earlier night, either the first or second, Anna, Mary and I and Giovanni and Beni played the Men vs. Women game. It was sort of a Family Fued type game. I volunteered to go up second and rather than ring a bell, I had to bark like a dog while the guy had to make an elephant sound. Our question, "What are the most popular places to make whoopi?" I barked first, so we took the question, but we only got two out of three before getting three strikes and the guys stole it from us. In the end, the guys stole from us every time on the last one and ended up winning the game. But we all know girls can kick the guys butts!
Cousin Filippo gave Frankie a lift back to the ship after returning from a taxi ride from the beach.
Anna and I hanging out after dinner and taking a "Facebook" picture.
Here is a picture of a picture we had taken of the entire family on the "grand" staircase. We didn't like how some of us turned out, so we didn't buy it. Frankie looks like a rag doll.
Here's an informal one of the boys on the same stairs.
The Biondo family looking very bronze.
My in-laws in the "Anniversary Suite" decorated by my sister-in-law Fran who didn't join us.
Frankie and Anna in the ship's theater before one of the shows, taking silly pictures to pass the time.
The photo below is of the main lobby filled with dancing guests for 70's night. The activities crew dressed as go-go girls and The Village People. Our hot friend Luke was the indian, wearing nothing more than a loincloth and headress! Too bad we didn't get a good shot of him!
Between dinner and returning to your stateroom your room service crew would leave a different animal towel each night. Here is a towel monkey wearing Anna's sunglasses.
And below is the towel elephant.
Many people have asked me, "How small was your room?" Well, I didn't take any pictures of my room, which was bigger than this one and had a window, but here is the room that my niece and nephews shared. The bed on the right is also a twin.
Below are some performers from the show on the 6th night. It was a husband and wife team, he was originally from Argentina and she was a New York dancer. They now do dance routines, drumming and some cool Argentinian gaucho rope tricks.
The ship's performers were phenomenal. Every night they presented a different show with music and dancing. These photos are from the last night's performance, but the ones at the end of the week were even better. One was selected songs from several popular Broadway musicals and the other was devoted to popular music from the 50's through the 90's.
During dinner there were a few nights were our wait staff would serenade us. Our table was directly below the triangular light at the bottom right corner. Frankie loved watching a violinist play on the landing every night and told me he wants to learn to play the violin.
Me and Frankie at the last night's show - the only one he could stay awake for.
My nephew Mike with a handful of pennies - his gambling coin of choice in the ship's casino. His philosophy - the smaller the value, the longer you can play.
On the 2nd to the last night, Mary won the jackpot! Unfortunately, it wasn't the whole $20,000.
On the 2nd to the last night, Mary won the jackpot! Unfortunately, it wasn't the whole $20,000.
The casino was a good place to spend some time and have a drink brought right to you between dinner and a show. To be honest, I didn't think the night life was all that great.
Filippo, Nonno and
Giovanni soak in the only functioning hot tub of the two by the pool.
It was Christmastime, so in front of the Schooner Lounge where Anna and I often competed in "Name That Tune" type competitions, there was this huge gingerbread house display. It was really a gingerbread village.
Also, in front of the Schooner Lounge, Frankie and Mario took turns behind the wheel.
Some of the most fun I had was competing in some hysterically funny games. This one was called "The Quest". Me, Mike, Anna, Mary, Giovanni and Louis and Kim from Baltimore were a team and we competed against about 15 other teams. Each team was given a card with our team number and Luke, the activities director (an absolutely adorable British lad, seen in the referee uniform) would request and item and each team had to bring it up as quickly as possible. The first team up got 4 points, the 2nd got 3 points, the 3rd got 2 points and all teams thereafter got just one point. Another referee kept score. Luke would ask for things like a woman's purse, empty of all contents. A man with a hairy back. A woman with a moustache. A form of birth control, etc. A woman with two unworn bras and one must be her own. Funny stuff. We were sitting in the front row and Anna and Mike were insane about jumping out of their seats and getting to Luke first. You should have seen Anna slither out of her bra! The last competition required a man (Louis) to go to the front of the stage dressed in women's shoes (mine), lipstick (Anna's), and a purse (Anna's camera case). Since Anna's bra was already off, we strapped that on to Louis, as well. He's the one that Luke is interviewing in the picture. Luke kept the men on stage and then had them do a runway walk and blow a kiss while being videotaped by the ship's videographer for posterity. The end result was hysterical but in the end our team came in 2nd place by only TWO POINTS! We thought we'd had it and were really quite devasted. Oh well.
On an earlier night, either the first or second, Anna, Mary and I and Giovanni and Beni played the Men vs. Women game. It was sort of a Family Fued type game. I volunteered to go up second and rather than ring a bell, I had to bark like a dog while the guy had to make an elephant sound. Our question, "What are the most popular places to make whoopi?" I barked first, so we took the question, but we only got two out of three before getting three strikes and the guys stole it from us. In the end, the guys stole from us every time on the last one and ended up winning the game. But we all know girls can kick the guys butts!
Cousin Filippo gave Frankie a lift back to the ship after returning from a taxi ride from the beach.
Anna and I hanging out after dinner and taking a "Facebook" picture.
Here is a picture of a picture we had taken of the entire family on the "grand" staircase. We didn't like how some of us turned out, so we didn't buy it. Frankie looks like a rag doll.
Here's an informal one of the boys on the same stairs.
The Biondo family looking very bronze.
My in-laws in the "Anniversary Suite" decorated by my sister-in-law Fran who didn't join us.
Frankie and Anna in the ship's theater before one of the shows, taking silly pictures to pass the time.
The photo below is of the main lobby filled with dancing guests for 70's night. The activities crew dressed as go-go girls and The Village People. Our hot friend Luke was the indian, wearing nothing more than a loincloth and headress! Too bad we didn't get a good shot of him!
Day 7 - At Sea
On the last day of our cruise, we had breakfast in the restaurant, just so Beni and I could order our favorite - Eggs Benedict. The rest of the daylight hours were spent by either the kiddie pool or central pool, splashing around and catching some rays.
Here Frankie nervously attempts the water slide by himself. Unfortunately, some strange girl with a seemingly receding hairline, caught up to him.
Mario and Frankie chilled in the 2 inches of water in the kiddie pool.
A crew vs. guest volleyball game. The two guys at the back of the pool are my nephews Mike and Filippo.
Giovanni, Mike and Anna in the pool.
Anna and Filippo being silly poolside.
We also had to spend some of the day packing. Your bags have to be packed and outside of your stateroom door by 10 p.m. the night before you disembark.
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