Goodbye, Girls!

So, I've stayed pretty occupied up until this point, preparing lesson plans for my subs and getting things in order, but this weekend I had time to think about my surgery tomorrow and realized, I don't want to think about it. I spent a little time looking at pictures on Google of mastectomies and reconstructions and did a little research on recovery time. Just enough to satiate my curiousity. I don't want to think about it anymore.

A part of me wanted to have a picture of "my girls" so I could remember them the way they were, but I figured, isn't every picture of me a reminder of what my breasts looked like? Plus, I didn't want a picture of my boobs on my iPhone or my computer to be found someday by someone who had no business seeing them.

So instead, in keeping with my positive and if-you-don't-laugh-you'll-cry attitude, I decided to write an homage. Here it is:

Goodbye, Girls [sung to the tune of Goodbye Earl by the Dixie Chicks]

Fran and her boobs were the best of friends,

From ten until 42,

With Victoria Secret push-up bras,

She was happy with a B, 32,

After getting married they stayed the same,

Beni was a big fan, too,

Life was good for Fran, you see, while she had her girls.

It was almost two years after she got married,

Fran started feelin’ sick,

She was pregnant for the first time,

And her girls were gettin’ big.

Beni was excited to see them grow,

The bigger the better, he’d say,

Fran went from a B to C,

But there’d be more expansion some day.

A second baby came along and the girls went strong,

Another whole cup size they grew.

Then eight years later, after cancer invaded,

It didn’t take long to decide

The girls had to die, goodbye girls!

That carcinoma? Oh yeah, it’s over, girls!

You’re killin’ me? I’m gonna set you free, girls!

It’ll be best, when you’re off my chest, girls!

It was July of 2011,

When Fran got the bad news,

Invasive Lobular Carcinoma,

This was a fight she couldn’t lose.

After lots of bloodwork and lots of tests,

And a couple biopsies,

Eighteen rounds of chemotherapy,

She was fighting this disease.

After one full month of recuperating,

It was time for surgery,

Though the cancer was only on one side,

It didn’t take long to decide,

Both girls had to die! Goodbye, girls!

You tried to kill; your blood’s gonna spill, girls!

I’ll get re-racked, after you’re attacked, girls!

My new set, will be better, I’ll bet, girls!